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acyk_87
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Name: Alfred
Gender: Male
Interests: Sleeping, Food, Reading,
Expertise: Reminiscing, Sleeping, Eating, Sleeping while eating, TALKING!
Occupation: Sleeping and eating. I WISH!
Industry: ..thinking..
Message: message me
Member Since:
7/1/2006
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Woo! I still remembered this account password.
It's been a bloody long and complicated time since I’ve last posted. What’s new?
After a quick scan of what I’ve written back then, I can surely say I have
grown and I wouldn’t write like that again – grown within such a brief time as
well.
So last year it was all about moving on from a girl that
shattered my heart.
Now this time it’s about a best friend’s betrayal and
backstab. The more I think of it, the more life just seems to be a perpetual
cycle of crap. It’s funny though, I must admit that everything that’s happened
in the past would hurt once but the next time or (next few times) I can feel
the wisdom to face the challenges.
The
funny thing is, the girl I was talking about in my posts
became my best friend’s girlfriend, who also betrayed and backstabbed
our
friendship. Ha! It’s become like a friggin soap opera show or
something. OK, fine
whatever all I want to do is find my own way and they can have their
own happy,
happy, joy, joy life together. Sorry, I wasn’t trying to sound
sarcastic. It’s
just that even after all this 3, 4 months down the track I get a call
warning me
about the girl accusing me of backstabbing her boyfriend and it came
from two people who would be the least likely to tell anything to in
the first place. So... What the
fuck are they on about???
I know I am the common denominator in every problem. Maybe it's because I give out trust too easily.
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| It's so much easier to write out what i want to say.
I'm not using my computer right now, It's been almost two months and my computer still isn't fixed. Partly for the reason that my friend still taking his time to fix it for me. Ah well.. I havn't been complaining about not having a computer to use but now it's getting a bit frustrating when i have nothing to do at home except lie in bed and read. A guess this isn't the first time i've been deprived of the computer usage. actually.. i've never "lost" the entire computer before - in the past the internet didn't work for a month or so, but now the system wouldn't even boot up. gah, technology..
I've made some decisions and took action on the issues i had. it's taken me a long way to where i thought i'd be heading. I can't say that i'm completely through it, yet. The focus is no longer about regaining something i've lost, it's gaining an ability to take control over this new constant paranoid mind of mine. Before i would trust everyone with my life if you were called my friend. Too bad I can't do that anymore. I don't want a girl to stand in between my friendships. It's getting out of control now. This jealousy must end now! so i tell myself..
I used to be just full of joy and happiness where ever i go, or who ever i meet. i don't want a depressed soul.
I feel like i've moved on, but at the same time, i can't find the happiness that once burned lively inside me. I try not to get emo (SO I'M SORRY!). I hate faking happiness.
i need a fresh start for this year.
I wish we'll all enjoy this happy new year.. | | |
| 'Spiced' up my xanga page, just a bit.
Alice will probably bag me now lol
ah well. | | |
| It's been a while since i've updated, So i just wanted to write a brief up-date, i caught up with my past girlfriend few weeks back. now (i suppose) the friendship between us couldn't be any better. She often reminds me how happy her life is now, i'm so happy for her. I don't want to take that away from her. So confused to where i'm going. I hope i could one day be like you, Joh. Where there's a period of pain, then rebirth and then you're on top of the world. It's like when a tree bud can't grow unless it's been burnt. lol At the moment i'm still stuggling to cope with my life. Just wishing it would balance for just a little while so i can rest. Yet funny, i don't recall being as happy as i am now this year
I love my family. Especially my nephew, whom brings so much joy to my life these days.
We even managed to wear the same style out.
 see..  
[Me and Aaron - less than one] [Me and Aaron - two]
no. i don't hate my life.
I look at it like this now; as long as i live another day, there's another day of hope.
Thanks everyone that helped me through this time of mine. will remember you.
God bless, always. | | |
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Look For The Sun
on a Rainy Day
The rollercoaster ride SUCKS! Don't go on that ride. - prepares to jump off - lol
You're right though, Amy. The rollercoaster is like the path of life. It goes one way in
every direction, just not backwards. And there's no stopping until the end of the ride.
...then you PUKE like diarrhea out of the mouth! ! ! 
I haven't been online for past few days, as there's been so much on my mind it's given me
constant headaches topping it with the back to uni workload. = mental suicide.
But it was wonderful to catch up with an old friend "Else" whom i haven't seen in a long long
time, which gave me a sense of content this week. Even better, today I bumped into another
old friend ("joycee") at the library. It's great to see them both so.. cheerful! I'm so proud of
you two So yah anyway, i thought it was a bit of 'fate' seeing them two cause for both
days i was making decisions like, whether i should do this, do that, go here, go there.. which would've prevented me from seeing them.. amazing. Does that make any sense?? 
OK, i'll be more specific, with "else" i finished uni HOURS ago but something kept telling me to stay and just find things to do there. I was about to leave and go home (possibily somewhere
else) but then i was like.. go on the computer to do a last check for one of my subjects. Then she calls and i'm like  .. wow..
Lol. With joycee, hmm something similar.. i chain of events that morning, ended up being on the train to glenny then i get a call from someone. Have a meeting to go to and should get off the train. I think about it, but i get the sudden urge to go to the library. Weird.. but yeah. Went for the better  . Missed you guys heaps . Though we're not as close as we used to be, i believe there's more in plan for us than we are expecting, you two will always be like family to me  (Why'd you think i bully you so much  keke). Wish you two success! Gambatte!
I also figured out today, why my relationship with Mum is so.. stuffed up suddenly. It's because... ahhh i won't bother. But pray things will go for the better cause even though i say i've forgiven her and moved on, my attitude doesn't seem that way.
"Don't cry when the Sun is gone; because then you won't be able to see the stars"
Current song playing: Life Is Like A Boat by Rie Fu
(One of the first theme songs from Bleach anime)
All for now,
Alfred
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